I hate goodbyes.
Casually crying in my (half empty since jess left) apartment missing people
ugh
here begins another finals week, another opportunity to fail in ways i never thought possible
You know what? Fuck that one thing that puts you down. Forget everything that doesn’t make you the best person you can be. Walk around with your head held high and look life in the eyes and say “I will live you however I want.” Then fuck everything else. For real; fuck anxiety, fuck ex-boyfriends, and fuck depression. That’s not a part of you. You are you, and you are a beautiful person.
-Ana Celia Alexander
things i did last night:
go to pitchers
things i should not have done last night:
go to pitchers
things i should have done last night:
15 page research paper due today
things i did not do last night:
15 page research paper due today
….see the problem?
no worries, still have five hours to go!
Just have to stay awake for two more hours and then I can go to sleep for five hours hooray
Staying up all night to work on papers.
This week is looking rough, but if I get through it, my finals week will be pretty nice in comparison.
I’m really working on getting my shit together for the last couple of weeks, but it’s difficult because even if I ace every final I have, my grades are still not going to be that great because of everything I’ve been dealing with this semester.
If I had just taken a leave of absence, things would have been much different. But idk. I’m glad I’m here.
Random thoughts too late at night, I guess.
So, so, SO nervous for this test tomorrow.
I’ve studied a lot but I always feel like I could have studied so much more. But I have flashcards upon flashcards, though I didn’t get the chance to make them for the last two powerpoints.
If I get a 100 on this test, I’ll still only have a C average which is so stressful. I am not a C student.
This semester has been tough for so many reasons and my GPA is not going to be favorable.
It sucks that I’ll have to spend next semester working like crazy to bring it up, just like I had to do this fall to make up for last year.
I just wish things could go according to plan for once in my life.
Frustrated
with the weather
with this grant
with my papers
with the tests i’m studying for
for my mother
for my brothers
with my friends
with my life
best way to solve this: curling up on the couch with a book and a glass of wine, ignoring my phone and the rest of the world
that’s where i’ll remain for the remainder of the night
